Now that the major wedding preparations are settled, and it’s finally time for some beauty sleep before walking down the aisle, the wedding countdown insomnia starts kicking in. I can’t sleep, and I am not sure if it’s my brother’s thunderous snoring, the sound of cars whizzing on the highway, or the wedding nerves that’s keeping me awake. And since I can’t sleep, why not try writing to calm myself down?
I’m getting married, in exactly 12 hours’ time.
Wedding day, a day of changes. This is the day I gain another father and mother, the day I change my marital status on all application forms, the day I take on a new last name, the day I start growing up and building a new family with Jeremy.
Get married, have a new family, and live happily ever after. Fairytales and all the other romance movies make it seem so simple to do so. But, we all know what we learn from storybooks and movies are fictional – not applicable in real life.
Being married is not just about how grand or beautiful the wedding ceremony is. It is about leaving my comfort zone, leaving the safe arms of my papa and mama, two people who have spent their whole lives protecting me, and thrusting myself into the arms of Jeremy – a person whom I’ve only met for four years. It is a whole life spent discovering and accepting each other. It is a lifetime of loving him unconditionally.
Love unconditionally. This means to be patient as Jeremy learns more about me, as he is when I am learning more about him. It is about seeing him as the apple of my eye, even when he gets old, smelly, wrinkly and maybe have a tummy. It is about saying kind words and exercising patience on days instead of having cold wars when our opinions disagree. It is about loving his family as mine, as he learns to love my family as his. It is about wanting the best for him and acting it out – helping him with housework as he strives at work, supporting him in his career, allowing him his time to relax, having savoury dishes for lunch / dinner even though I prefer my sweets, allowing him to rear fishes as it keeps him calm even if I dislike it, and always taking the initiative to keep him joyful (through dates or puns) till we are 80 and beyond.
This hard work sounds impossible, and seemingly daunting. In fact, it got me nervous. But, I am not alone. In fact, you’re feeling it too, Jeremy, aren’t you?
Yet, you focused not on the problems, but on what we could become. You took the leap of faith and committed to take care of me when you proposed at Love Valley in Turkey, and you have never failed to keep your part of the commitment.
You cover me with your jacket when I am cold, prepare freshly squeezed orange juice when I am unwell, offer me a hug and a shoulder to cry on when I feel insecure, join me in volleyball games because it is my favourite form of exercise, bring me to nature places to rejuvenate my spirits, and pray with me when life is at its harshest.
I’m scared, and you’re scared too. But you always choose to persevere in loving me. You held me hand and fearlessly led me through, defending me from all the obstacles that we may face in our relationships. Perhaps this is what “falling in love” means. That no relationship is perfect, but it gets sweeter and better as we continue committing to love even when we fall.
Thank you for choosing to love me. This love you have for me can only be possible with God and it has inspired me to take a bold step into our new adventure ahead. And, I pray that as we say “I do” later, we would remember this precious love that God has given us and that with Him, His strength, grace and mercy, and the blessings of our family and friends, we would be able to love unconditionally and age gracefully together, till death do us part.
Happy fourth anniversary, my dear. I love you fourever.