Hau Nia Timor

6 months later, I am back in Singapore. I am thankful to be back; thankful for being able to flush my toilet paper down the toilet bowl, thankful for having an organised waste collection system, thankful for the safe(r) streets where I can cross / drive without having to constantly (like every second) darting my eyes around to watch out for the magical car or motorcycle that can suddenly manifest and knock me or my rear view mirror, thankful for streets that are well-paved and not dusty (the dust has given me really bad breathing issues), thankful for cheaper post-paid internet data that saves me from worrying about topping up my pulsa every week (though I have to say that there are days when the data connection in Singapore is as terrible or even worse than what I get in Timor), thankful for how well-connected this country is and the easily accessible public transportation system, thankful for being able to play volleyball with friends.

Yet, despite (what many term as) “the better living conditions” in Singapore, it feels surreal being back and a large part of my heart aches and longs to be back in Timor. I have been trying to process the reason for feeling this way (it doesn’t seem to be logical) and I guess the best way to summarise is that the rawness of Timor has drawn my heart to it.

I have fallen deeply in love with the simplicity / rawness of the land. Most houses are not as elaborately embellished like the ones in Singapore, toilets are usually a zinc shed over a hole, floor is always filled with earth, there is no air-conditioning. However, the people in it would overwhelm you with their love. And because their buildings and structures are mostly simple, nature is often left untouched and we get to marvel at the hills, trees, grass, flowers, waters and animals in their most pristine state.

I have fallen in love with the community. Though they are not the richest, they are still very generous. I will miss the smiles and the “Bondia / Botarde / Bonoite” that I get every day (but I will NOT miss the cat calling). I will miss the times when if my car breaks down or if something happens to me (injuries / lost / etc…), many different people will stop and do their best to help. I will miss listening to their heavenly singing – after work, people would gather and they would just pick a guitar and start jamming. I will miss the random times when people offer me to try their food / local alcohol.

I have fallen in love with the lack of distractions and competition that hinders us from realising what life truly is. There are not many entertainment options in Timor-Leste. There is only one arcade, one cinema, a few claw machine stores in the whole of Timor-Leste. Not many people have televisions and on top of that, wifi connection can be extremely terrible, especially when it rains. To keep themselves entertained after work, they exercise (hike, run, volleyball, soccer), they play card and board games like Bingo, Timor’s version of Dai Dee and etc., they have conversations and meals, they take care of their house, they indulge in music, they chill at nature places, they groom their gardens and care for their animals. I like how their leisure time focus on building relationships and appreciating the world for what it is. The lack of data connection also keeps them focused on developing meaningful and quality time with those around them.

Most importantly, I have fallen in love with experiencing the presence of God. This is a touchy topic, but I feel that I have to share what I observed. Living in a developed country, it is easy to attribute everything to my own personal capabilities. For example, if I have a house, it is because I have a job and I earned my keep to buy the house. If I am sick and am healed, it is because I went to seek a doctor and diligently took my medication. However, what if you are in a country where resources and talents are lacking? We heard of stories of how God saved many who were almost washed away by floodwaters, we’ve seen how some really sickly patients were healed because of prayers, we’ve witnessed how spirits possess humans and how they were casted out because of God, we’ve experienced how God provided timely help, provision and protection (such as when our car running into issues in the wilderness with no connection) to deliver us from situations… And I am thankful for being able to learn and proclaim that God… He is indeed real.

What you see in Timor is what it is, it is not pretentious, it is not fluff, it is straightforward and it bares its heart and charm to anyone who visits. The sincerity of this land has won me over and has taught me what life and living truly means.

Hang in there. One more month and everything will be alright.

Beach Box Camp Bali

The sun, it burns, it energises. But I think it worked its latter magic on me this Beach Box Camp 2022 – 2023.

There’s something about the rays from the sun that vitalises. Vitamin D really works wonder. It lifts the spirit and all paranoia and panic about work were blown / swept off by the gentle breeze and waves. Yes, I am ten shades darker or that my shoulders and scalp are burnt and peeling. But I am not going to complain because the camp rounded my 2022 on a super sweet note. Like how the gloomy, stormy weather in Bali cleared off for the beach camp, the beach camp cleared off all the stress and anxiety from 2022. I got to experience the warmth from people of different countries / cultures, see a slight faint rainbow, and learn volleyball from super cool volleyball experts who are not just good with their skills, but also with their personalities. And I certainly wish that I didn’t have to go back to work. But all good things come to an end and I’m well-charged now (or so I hope).

Come, 2023. I am ready.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Rules

There was a long line of stationary cars on the left lane. Even when the traffic light was green, every vehicle was at a stand still. Following down the lane, you’d find the source of congestion – parent-drivers dropping off their “take-their-own-sweet-time” children at the bus stop. No amount of horning from the bus directly behind would scare the parents or the children into following the rules* / moving faster.

In another incident, the road into another school’s pick-up point was congested. Just outside the school is a yellow box junction. There were cars, from the opposite side of the road, that turned right into it even though the traffic light was red for them. This obstructed the cars trying to go straight. Thus even when the traffic light turned green, the lane of cars going straight could not proceed (unless they decided to run over the cars blocking in front).

This morning’s traffic observation taught me that life can be a battle of my convenience vs yours. And, if there were not rules set in place, in the first place, the traffic situation, and even life, could be so much more chaotic. I know this one example is not the most representative to defend the argument for rules, but it prompted my brain to think of the need for it. As for whether rules are really needed for law and order and etc, that would be another reflection for another time.

P.s. I wish more LTA officers can be deployed along Dover Road…

Blessings Overflow

Work has been insane. For the first time yesterday, I deeply empathised with how a robot would feel if it was a human, to churn as much work out, consistently and continuously, for 11 hours straight. There was no toilet break, lunch break, dinner break.

But, when things get tough, God’s blessings overflow, even more richly.

I left work close to 8pm yesterday and was debating about whether there was enough time for me to get food before the next appointment. Just as I was walking out the school gate, I saw a Grab delivery delivering food into the school (which is weird because there is no one, apart from the security guard, left in school). Long story short, the person who ordered the food sent it to the wrong ACS and happened to be a student staying with me in the boarding school. She offered to give me her drink as it would be 2 hours later, after my last appointment of the day, before she could receive it. I took it, but paid her. The drink was one of my favourites – HeyTea’s Mango Cheezo, and it was a perfectly sweet ending to the day.

Then again, this morning, I was running late because of terrible traffic – I was not able to reach school, get the vouchers for the awards ceremony and enter into the assembly room on time. A friend who happened to be in the print room texted me out of the blue and offered to help me collect the gifts for the students. She has no idea how much that meant to me.

Deut 31:8
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

I’m really thankful for the angels and the coincidences that God has created during this really down and peak period at work. His grace is sufficient indeed.

Battery’s Flat

My 4-year-old iPhone X went from a 100% in the morning to 10% at 3pm. It showed no signs of life, officially, at 6pm. I was telling my colleagues about this surprising battery drain and two main explanations for this were:

1. The phone is too old – 4 years is considerably a long lifespan for a phone these days.
2. Something may be wrong with the battery, perhaps too it’s leaking – time to change it.

The conclusion though was the same – get a new phone.

What was happening to my phone yesterday was perhaps an allegory of my own physical state, and the term “Battery’s Flat” an appropriate metaphor that sums it all up. I think being above 30, and still running on the adrenaline and schedule of a 25-year-old, has caused me to more easily tired than before and not having enough rest over the weekend just doesn’t help. Or maybe it’s how one would become when teaching for 9 years+. Either way, I was so tired that I crashed at 8pm last night and woke up only this morning. I enjoyed the 10 hours of sleep and I’m craving for more of such long hours of sleep (the last time I crashed and burnt like that was when running 5 odd jobs at the age of 18). And, perhaps, the brain drain explanations / conclusion should also apply to me. It’s time for a change. A change in schedule, a change in lifestyle, and maybe a change in environment?

I’m happy to report that my phone is back at 100% after a whole night of charging yesterday. Hopefully, I am too. 3 more days to the weekends!

Spent time scrubbing the toilet floors and walls rather than getting started on that Life in a Fishbowl curriculum for Term 3. I actually dislike cleaning the toilet and I guess this says volumes about how much more I dread working during the holidays.

When in anger, call Colossians 2:11. And then put on Ephesians 4:31-32:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Celebrate Your Wins

Bought the Wellness Diary from Typo at the start of the year. It’s really a good diary to have and I should be more diligent with following the wellness tips. For today, the aim is to “Celebrate Your Wins”. And there are many wins today!

The A Div girls were up against a tough opponent today – the toughest and strongest team from the East. Yet, despite not winning the match, they did outstandingly well and put up a good fight against the experienced and seasoned players. Their cheers for one another brought the roof down. There was no fear. They received the toughest and soundest hits, got the ball up and sent it over the net at least a 100 times. They played with their minds, thought about how to play the ball into difficult positions and scored some beautiful points with sly, but amazing, tips. They even managed some huge blocks that shocked the opponents.

Though we lost, but I am sure the team made quite the impression. And that’s what life is about, isn’t it. It’s not about the winning or the losing, but about fighting a good fight. The process is more important the outcome. And the legacy they’ve created today is the biggest win of all.